Rant Against BAE

RANT WARNING

I understand that we're not in New England anymore, and schools in other locations, such as ours, generally suck. We can't afford private school and they're all 'thumper schools around here anyway, so we send our kids to the lousy public school and subscribe to the science channel. I accept that academically, this is the best the kids are going to get around here. To be honest, the individual teachers have been wonderful, as is very often the case. I wonder how much more they could do without all the red tape in the schools.

Last year my son started Kindergarten. I joined the PTA, but all they wanted was my money. I tried to introduce myself to the principal, via email, phone and in person, but each time was redirected. Once I was even told they "Don't know where she is". I did strike up a working familiarity with the VP, since they could find her, but this year she's gone. I have no idea why, and the new VP is as invisible as the Principal. Actually, the Principal is very visible - she's an exceedingly tall woman who looks remarkably like Julia Child. Apparently it would be easier to get an audience with the late Mrs. Child than my son's school Principal, however. In fact, I spent the year trying to get a schedule of my son's school day- you know, a general outline of what he was learning. The teacher told me the school provided it in a handbook, and the VP told me the teachers had to submit it. I never got one, but they did assure me that lunch was at 10:20 am.

This year, I know a bit more about my son's day. His teacher has (gasp!) email and uses it, and my son is better able to remember his schedule and discuss it. I know that everything is late. They started the reading program late. They started Scouts late. They started testing late. No wonder they didn't want to tell me anything last year. I also know that in order to see my son, I have to present ID. Fine, good. His school is on total lockdown. I always present my ID to the bitchy women in the office and thank them in spite of their attitudes. I think of the women in education in my personal life and try to sympathize with them and all the trials and headaches in their day. They're still bitchy to me.

This morning, I walked my son into school because I was helping him carry muffins for his Thanksgiving feast. Well, I tried to. Of all the mothers doing exactly the same thing as I was, I was the one they stopped. I was barred at the door and told I needed to sign in. Fine. Did I have my ID? In the car. Have you been here before? Um, many times, with ID, that you scan every single time into "The System". With more drama and eye rolling than a clerk at an airport check-in counter, the woman found me, after checking the spelling of my name and implying I was lying several times. Eventually I was given a name tag so I could go in. The woman who had stopped me in the first place deliberately avoided eye contact. I think she was disappointed I passed the exam.

I walked my son to his classroom. Along the way, I passed several of the other mothers I'd seen come in with goodies for their kids, and none - absolutely none - of them had the sacred Visitor Pass I'd been forced to get. Thank goodness that every time my blood started to boil again I'd see a little kid I knew from the neighborhood, Scouts, etc... and I'd smile and say good morning. I can't be mean to a little kid! But bitchy grown women? Yeah. I can be mean to them. When I got back to the main door the woman who stopped (and later ignored) me told me I had to turn in my name-tag-sacred-visitor-pass-sticker in the office. By this point, I know I'm the only one they made get one. It's a paper sticker. I've passed their test, worn it dutifully, and I'm leaving. Gritting my teeth I return to the office 'o bitches and hand over my sticker, "I understand I have to turn this in". I think that was pretty civil, don't you? Now, it's paper. It has a time & date stamp in bold print. I'm leaving, obviously with no children hidden anywhere, and it's only been 3 minutes. I'm a 5'1" 30-something blonde Mom in jeans and sneakers. Why are they trying so freakin' hard to keep me away from my kid? What the hell are they doing in there? Of course, I'd know if they'd ever given me the schedule...

Finally, because the fine people at BAE hadn't quite pushed my blood pressure over 200 yet, the parking lot guy had to rip my head off. We always park in the lot, as opposed to drive through the drop off line, when I take my son to school. Last year we used the line once and I was reprimanded for getting out of the car to unbuckle my 5 year old from his car seat. My son now lives in fear of being ripped out of the car by a stranger (ironic, considering how "safety" conscious the school is, no?), so we park. Anyway, I know how the system goes. This morning, however, I mistook the gesture of the old guy who directs traffic. Probably because I was seeing red, of course. I made a right turn. I saw a child about to get out of car on my left, so I stopped immediately. Old guy yelled at me for the next 2 minutes straight. I rolled down my window and apologized profusely, but he just keep screaming. Mind you, I'd driven less than 10 feet, at a crawl, and stopped immediately when I saw the child. I then sat there taking this guy's lecture for several minutes, when by all rights I should have run him over.

So this is my son's school. The only contact I'm allowed with them is to tell me I'm doing something wrong or that I'm suspected of being a serial killer or something. They utterly ignore me otherwise, and treat me like a criminal for their own sick amusement. I can't imagine a school in NE treating a parent this disrespectfully - or at least, getting away with it if they tried. The only thing keeping me from storming the Superintendent's office is that I'm still too angry to choose the best course of action. Part of me wants to home school, and the other part wants to show up at a different time each day with 11 forms of ID and a lawyer and demand to see my son. In the end, I'll probably just send a nasty-gram to the Sup. My son likes his teacher and has lots of friends and fun at school. It's not worth screwing up his life to make a political statement. At least until they dream up some new form of torture for me.

A Few Notes on the Holidays

I have a few scattered thoughts regarding domestics around the holidays I'd like to offer.

Sort through toys and clothes before the holidays. Not only will you have more room for your new goodies, but you'll also be giving others the opportunity to recycle your donated cast-offs. This is especially true for kids' things. Lord knows they outgrow their toys and clothes faster than they can unwrap presents!

If you throw a party formal enough to require cocktail dresses or other attire more formal than normal office wear, do NOT ask people to remove their shoes at the door. I recently saw an article about setting up cute little slippers and whatnot for guests. Nonsense! They went to the trouble to dress up for you - including appropriate shoes. Get over yourself and wash your damn floor the next day.

This is your last chance to order your planner refill, or to find a new one. Do it now, before it gets too busy, or before it won't arrive in time for the new year. When you receive it, make yourself a note on October 1st to order next year's calendar.

One of my favorite informal holiday parties is a Card-Writing Party. I usually invite ladies only, since we're the only ones who still hand-write Christmas cards and thank-you notes. We sit around the Christmas tree just after Thanksgiving sipping wine, enjoying nibblies and completing all our Christmas cards in one evening.

Don't forget to tip the important service people in your life. A good rule of thumb is tip them the cost of one "X". Our sitter, for example, would get the cost of one night's sitting, if we were to give her cash instead of a gift. Some other people you may want to consider tipping, or at least thanking, are teachers, delivery people, stylists, and maintenance or landscape keepers. Check out CNN's tipping guide for more details, bearing in mind they're on NYC incomes! Want to be truly thoughtful? Make a note in your new planner to thank these people, sincerely, next July, when they least expect it.

Finally, 'tis the season for copious shopping, and spending, and sadly, identity theft. Exactly one week before Black Friday this year, I had my first experience with ID theft, and let me tell you, it's maddening. Fortunately, we have ID Theft insurance AND a great credit union who supports us. What could have seriously ruined our holidays was resolved in a few phone calls. I strongly urge you to give yourself and your family the gift of ID Theft insurance this year.