Radical Parenting My A**

Sometimes I make the mistake of staying up too late and watching obscure tv shows like Discovery Health's "Radical Parenting". I'd put a link here, but the show's so bad even their homepage doesn't have much on it. According to whomever thought this show was a good idea (probably some childless male executive), breastfeeding, babywearing, any sleeping arrangement other than a crib, and homeschooling are all "radical" ways to raise children. The perky young child psychologist they interviewed pointed out that these methods require parents to "really be in touch with their children" and added that"attachment parenting is hard work, sometimes leading to burnout". (*I shouldn't use quotes since I didn't tape it or write it down. I may well be off by a few articles, but this is damn close to verbatim.)

First, my husband's response to my rant the next morning: "Who said raising kids was easy?".

Now my take. I agree with my husband. I also know that all of the aforementioned parenting choices have been the norm, not the exception, throughout the world and throughout history. Artificial baby foods, high-powered marketing, and a jump in taxes in the '70s all helped twist our idea of what raising kids is supposed to be about. No one makes you have kids. There is certainly no shortage of humans on Earth. So if you don't want to put in the time and effort, money and patience it takes to raise another individual human (or several) then don't do it. If you have kids, and choose to share that responsibility with someone else, via daycare or other care providers, then recognize that YOU are the one making the unnatural parenting choice. I don't judge you; I don't know why you made your choice. But I will not be labeled a freak or hippy because I don't buy in to Madison Avenue-marketing mothering.

If I have an opportunity, I will do my best to support you and your child. Human beings are social, communal animals, and I will gladly help you in any way I can. I will also expect that you will recognize that breasts exist to make milk to feed babies, that babywearing wraps are some of the earliest human inventions, and that families in most of the world and for most of human existence have slept together for comfort and protection.

Now, I realize that this show is the "brainchild" of some of the same tv execs who failed to label the Gosselins or Duggars "radical" parents, in spite of all their efforts. Many of you agree with me about this dangerous provocation, this blatant effort to further divide parents into camps. I hope you'll help take the stigma out of attachment parenting and other "radical" behaviors, and encourage and support each other as we raise the next generation.

Me? I'm off to do some real radical parenting - getting both my kids' rooms cleaned before bedtime.

Namaste'

Saving Money, Losing My Mind

That's it - I can't even think straight anymore. 11 months into Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University (FPU), and I can't function without a budget. Spending money hurts now. That's brilliant for long-term financial goals, but lousy for short term sanity. Need proof? I had to count on my fingers to calculate those 11 months; it's a good thing my kids showed me what to do when you go over 10.

I love the concept of thinking through every purchase before buying anything, both from a financial and an environmental standpoint. Really, I do. Unfortunately, after training myself to do that, I'm too cheap to buy things that I don't really need. Especially things that are for me, as in, things that are not for my family, but ME. If I were a clotheshorse or serial shopper or something, that would be great, but I'm not. I'm pretty frugal by nature. So now the things I deny myself are things I couldn't justify spending household money on, so I bought myself. Put another way, "my" treats were really household needs.

Last month I bought several whole grains and beans in bulk - yea! Cheap, healthy, great all around. Unfortunately, they keep getting lost in the pantry because I refuse to pay for proper storage containers for them. I can't find them, so I don't use them. Eventually, one of them is bound to explode and rain millet all over our dry goods, costing me several hours of my life cleaning. Now the issue is clutter. A few weekends ago, the boys were gone, the fog lifted, and I devised a game plan for several of our most cluttered areas. One of the worst is the closet in our front hall. Between the weird weather this season and the kids outgrowing their shoes and coats all the time, the door barely shuts. Add to that my husband's tendency to hurl every pair of shoes he finds in there like he's Curt Schilling, and you can imagine how just getting ready to leave the house becomes a headache. Ah, but I had a plan! Over-the-door shoe rack! Sort through the shoes and coats and bags - get it all off the floor! Put an end to all the pitching! Yeah, um, well, it turns out that those shoe racks are $20 each, even at discount stores. I'd planned to get 3 of them, but there's no way I could justify $60 for stupid wire racks. So what if the closet's a mess, right?

Wrong. While I still can't justify all 3, I did commit to one, and to cleaning out that closet. Why? Because my sanity is worth it. The fighting and frustration every morning when we all go "bobbing for sneakers" in the closet has got to end. I'm not suggesting we all have professional home organizers come in seasonally so our homes look like Real Simple covers, but if taking a few bucks out of the long-term cash stash helps ensure I'll live to see the rewards, I'm sure Dave would approve.