Have you ever noticed how many practical guides aren't very practical if you have kids? My kiddos are 6 and 3, not too little, but certainly not independent. We're pretty much out of the sticking-things-in-the-socket stage, but not quite to the put-'em-to-work stage. Maybe I'm the only person out there with children, but I kind of doubt that. Still, every book I read on home organization, or every how-to guide seems to be ignore the fact that there are children in the world. I'm not the kind of person who has a messy home and simply chalks it up to having kids; that's not what I'm talking about at all. I think most people who have visited my home would call it fairly neat & tidy most of the time, even though my youngest still makes finger paint out of peanut butter sandwiches smooshed into a paste with her chocolate milk. So this isn't an excuse session, it's an observation, and perhaps, recognition of a niche that someone should fill, please. I would, but I'm still scraping play-doh out of the carpet.
Here's an example of what I mean: Unclutter Your Life in One Week! by Erin Doland. I loved the angle she took with this home organization book. Basically, you are to organize areas based on your daily routine and common activities. Clever, no? Instead of cleaning the pantry first simply because it's the biggest mess or something, you start with your closet, assuming that you start your DAY by getting dressed. I hadn't seen this approach before, and it made sense to me. Unfortunately, the author has (or had, at the time of writing) no children, so she hardly mentions them at all. It's obvious that she doesn't realize that most moms have to organize their own things, and each of the children's' things, as well as all the public spaces of the home. Wait until she finds out that action figures outnumber Barbie outfits in some homes 3 to 1. Oh, and for the record, the only way you could honestly Unclutter Your Life in One Week! following this book is if you had no friends, family, or possessions in your already immaculate minimalist condo. I'm guessing no one like that is reading this or is considering this book, but if you are, you can do it! *** Update 2/25/10 See the comment from the author below - not only is she now a mom (congratulations!) but a family organization book may be on the way! Thanks for the reply, Erin!
Another example: dog training. Many behavioral problems pets have can be easily fixed with some simple training and patience. I'm perfectly capable of understanding these training techniques and the logic behind them. However, I'm NOT capable of leaving the house 48 times an hour to condition my dog to ignore it, since my children can't ignore it, and every time I grab the keys they want to come too, "Mummy, you goin' out? K'I come? K'I come, Mummy? Where we going?". I'm also apparently not capable of walking the dog while pushing the jogging stroller without destroying the alignment of the $300 stroller. Of course, consistency is key when training a pet. Consistency? Kids? At the same time? HA! That's a good one. I'm lucky to impose a basic schedule on the family for dinner and bedtime most days, and even that has some flexibility built in. It's not a lack of desire or planning on my part, it's the modern American family lifestyle. Dinner is at 5:30 (insanely early) so that the kids can have their baths and be ready to unwind quietly for an hour before they go to sleep at 8. That's reasonable. Except on Mondays we have Cub Scouts until almost 8, and other days we have to pick up the dog at daycare across town at 4, and sometimes Daddy's home for dinner and that changes everything. Life happens. Point being, I'd love to follow the training guides to a T and create the perfectly healthy, happy, stable pet, but that's simply not practical. I'll work with him when I can, and we'll just have to offer up love and patience in the meantime.
Don't you have this problem too? You start something, anything, only to have a kid, or two or three, pop up and ask to help, or get in some sort of fix where they need a hand? My husband got in big trouble not too long ago by complaining that he was "working, not babysitting" when he was cleaning the garage and the kids were outside. While his choice of words were regrettable (no worries, he's recovering nicely), I can certainly sympathize with his frustration. I need a How-To Guide to Everything for Moms. I need real tasks, like snaking the lint trap on the dryer, broken down into real step-by-step guides, INCLUDING all the interruptions and mom-points.
It might read like this: Open dryer door, remove lint screen. Trade something with your toddler for the dryer brush. Insert dryer brush into lint screen slot. Use tug-of-war with toddler over dryer brush to loosen residue on the sides of the slot. Send child to kitchen for cookie. Frantically wiggle dryer brush in slot to find bottom vent and further insert brush before child returns.
Alternately, the steps could all be broken down into 5 minute increments. Or age-appropriate "helping" could be listed with each task. I'm sure there are many ways to make it work. After all, many of us make a ton of tasks work every day without even trying. Did you feed everyone today? Clothe everyone? Clean the house? Pack everything and get everyone where they need to be? Oh, and remembered to feed Fido, too? Sure you did, and all while keeping them all safe and happy. So it CAN be done. I just need to figure out how to take it to the next level. Time to start that How-To for Moms research!
