I'm Ready for Christmas - Next Year!

Everyone I know is working on their 2010 New Year's Resolutions, but not me, not yet. I have a few ideas jotted down, but first, I've got to get ready for Christmas, again.

I'm making a Christmas schedule for next year. Once again, there were gifts that weren't worth what it cost to send them. Once again, there was a last minute scramble, although it wasn't as bad as some previous years, thank goodness. But Christmas Day is my birthday, and while I'm too old to celebrate (or admit my age), I'm not too old to want to sit on my butt for a few days and just enjoy the holidays. In fact, when the kids are grown and out of the house, I'm not even making Christmas dinner anymore. It'll just be me and the hubby and some Philly Cheese steaks. But I digress...

My point is that I'm making a schedule for all the holiday crud NOW, before I forget, and entering it into my 2010 calendar NOW, before I forget. I've started with the final day I want to deal with any given task, and worked backwards. For example, I like to send out my Christmas cards on Thanksgiving weekend, so with that as my end date, I schedule stamp buying for the week before, writing them the weekend before that, ordering them 4 to 6 weeks earlier, etc... until the whole process is done with time to spare. I know there are some people who have all their holiday shopping done in August or something, but that doesn't work for me, either practically (since the kids grow so fast, out of clothes and toys) or emotionally (since I enjoy the holiday season). If that works for you, however, use that as your deadline, by all means.

Regardless of your deadlines, just be sure to think each task all the way through and use the final step as your end point. For example, gift delivery (to the recipient furthest from you) is the final step of Christmas shopping, not buying or making the gifts. What holiday tasks could you include? Shopping and cards, of course, but don't neglect school events, annual parties, holiday travel arrangements, or extra seasonal charity you and your family may enjoy. Look back over your planner for the past few months to help remember all the holiday madness you survived this year, then plan now to spend more time enjoying it all next year.

Until next time, Best Wishes for 2010!

Rant Against BAE

RANT WARNING

I understand that we're not in New England anymore, and schools in other locations, such as ours, generally suck. We can't afford private school and they're all 'thumper schools around here anyway, so we send our kids to the lousy public school and subscribe to the science channel. I accept that academically, this is the best the kids are going to get around here. To be honest, the individual teachers have been wonderful, as is very often the case. I wonder how much more they could do without all the red tape in the schools.

Last year my son started Kindergarten. I joined the PTA, but all they wanted was my money. I tried to introduce myself to the principal, via email, phone and in person, but each time was redirected. Once I was even told they "Don't know where she is". I did strike up a working familiarity with the VP, since they could find her, but this year she's gone. I have no idea why, and the new VP is as invisible as the Principal. Actually, the Principal is very visible - she's an exceedingly tall woman who looks remarkably like Julia Child. Apparently it would be easier to get an audience with the late Mrs. Child than my son's school Principal, however. In fact, I spent the year trying to get a schedule of my son's school day- you know, a general outline of what he was learning. The teacher told me the school provided it in a handbook, and the VP told me the teachers had to submit it. I never got one, but they did assure me that lunch was at 10:20 am.

This year, I know a bit more about my son's day. His teacher has (gasp!) email and uses it, and my son is better able to remember his schedule and discuss it. I know that everything is late. They started the reading program late. They started Scouts late. They started testing late. No wonder they didn't want to tell me anything last year. I also know that in order to see my son, I have to present ID. Fine, good. His school is on total lockdown. I always present my ID to the bitchy women in the office and thank them in spite of their attitudes. I think of the women in education in my personal life and try to sympathize with them and all the trials and headaches in their day. They're still bitchy to me.

This morning, I walked my son into school because I was helping him carry muffins for his Thanksgiving feast. Well, I tried to. Of all the mothers doing exactly the same thing as I was, I was the one they stopped. I was barred at the door and told I needed to sign in. Fine. Did I have my ID? In the car. Have you been here before? Um, many times, with ID, that you scan every single time into "The System". With more drama and eye rolling than a clerk at an airport check-in counter, the woman found me, after checking the spelling of my name and implying I was lying several times. Eventually I was given a name tag so I could go in. The woman who had stopped me in the first place deliberately avoided eye contact. I think she was disappointed I passed the exam.

I walked my son to his classroom. Along the way, I passed several of the other mothers I'd seen come in with goodies for their kids, and none - absolutely none - of them had the sacred Visitor Pass I'd been forced to get. Thank goodness that every time my blood started to boil again I'd see a little kid I knew from the neighborhood, Scouts, etc... and I'd smile and say good morning. I can't be mean to a little kid! But bitchy grown women? Yeah. I can be mean to them. When I got back to the main door the woman who stopped (and later ignored) me told me I had to turn in my name-tag-sacred-visitor-pass-sticker in the office. By this point, I know I'm the only one they made get one. It's a paper sticker. I've passed their test, worn it dutifully, and I'm leaving. Gritting my teeth I return to the office 'o bitches and hand over my sticker, "I understand I have to turn this in". I think that was pretty civil, don't you? Now, it's paper. It has a time & date stamp in bold print. I'm leaving, obviously with no children hidden anywhere, and it's only been 3 minutes. I'm a 5'1" 30-something blonde Mom in jeans and sneakers. Why are they trying so freakin' hard to keep me away from my kid? What the hell are they doing in there? Of course, I'd know if they'd ever given me the schedule...

Finally, because the fine people at BAE hadn't quite pushed my blood pressure over 200 yet, the parking lot guy had to rip my head off. We always park in the lot, as opposed to drive through the drop off line, when I take my son to school. Last year we used the line once and I was reprimanded for getting out of the car to unbuckle my 5 year old from his car seat. My son now lives in fear of being ripped out of the car by a stranger (ironic, considering how "safety" conscious the school is, no?), so we park. Anyway, I know how the system goes. This morning, however, I mistook the gesture of the old guy who directs traffic. Probably because I was seeing red, of course. I made a right turn. I saw a child about to get out of car on my left, so I stopped immediately. Old guy yelled at me for the next 2 minutes straight. I rolled down my window and apologized profusely, but he just keep screaming. Mind you, I'd driven less than 10 feet, at a crawl, and stopped immediately when I saw the child. I then sat there taking this guy's lecture for several minutes, when by all rights I should have run him over.

So this is my son's school. The only contact I'm allowed with them is to tell me I'm doing something wrong or that I'm suspected of being a serial killer or something. They utterly ignore me otherwise, and treat me like a criminal for their own sick amusement. I can't imagine a school in NE treating a parent this disrespectfully - or at least, getting away with it if they tried. The only thing keeping me from storming the Superintendent's office is that I'm still too angry to choose the best course of action. Part of me wants to home school, and the other part wants to show up at a different time each day with 11 forms of ID and a lawyer and demand to see my son. In the end, I'll probably just send a nasty-gram to the Sup. My son likes his teacher and has lots of friends and fun at school. It's not worth screwing up his life to make a political statement. At least until they dream up some new form of torture for me.

A Few Notes on the Holidays

I have a few scattered thoughts regarding domestics around the holidays I'd like to offer.

Sort through toys and clothes before the holidays. Not only will you have more room for your new goodies, but you'll also be giving others the opportunity to recycle your donated cast-offs. This is especially true for kids' things. Lord knows they outgrow their toys and clothes faster than they can unwrap presents!

If you throw a party formal enough to require cocktail dresses or other attire more formal than normal office wear, do NOT ask people to remove their shoes at the door. I recently saw an article about setting up cute little slippers and whatnot for guests. Nonsense! They went to the trouble to dress up for you - including appropriate shoes. Get over yourself and wash your damn floor the next day.

This is your last chance to order your planner refill, or to find a new one. Do it now, before it gets too busy, or before it won't arrive in time for the new year. When you receive it, make yourself a note on October 1st to order next year's calendar.

One of my favorite informal holiday parties is a Card-Writing Party. I usually invite ladies only, since we're the only ones who still hand-write Christmas cards and thank-you notes. We sit around the Christmas tree just after Thanksgiving sipping wine, enjoying nibblies and completing all our Christmas cards in one evening.

Don't forget to tip the important service people in your life. A good rule of thumb is tip them the cost of one "X". Our sitter, for example, would get the cost of one night's sitting, if we were to give her cash instead of a gift. Some other people you may want to consider tipping, or at least thanking, are teachers, delivery people, stylists, and maintenance or landscape keepers. Check out CNN's tipping guide for more details, bearing in mind they're on NYC incomes! Want to be truly thoughtful? Make a note in your new planner to thank these people, sincerely, next July, when they least expect it.

Finally, 'tis the season for copious shopping, and spending, and sadly, identity theft. Exactly one week before Black Friday this year, I had my first experience with ID theft, and let me tell you, it's maddening. Fortunately, we have ID Theft insurance AND a great credit union who supports us. What could have seriously ruined our holidays was resolved in a few phone calls. I strongly urge you to give yourself and your family the gift of ID Theft insurance this year.

Recipe for Love

How often do you get to enjoy making dinner? Really enjoy it? A few nights ago, we had homemade calzones. I made the dough earlier in the day, and by evening each member of the family got to make their very own custom dinner. Warm, chewy, crusty calzones. The house smelled divine, too. There was a bit of dough leftover, so I saved it until tonight. For dinner this evening, I let the kids make their own personal pizzas. To them, it's a completely different meal, and I don't feel guilty giving them pizza-like meals twice in one week when everything is natural and made from scratch.

Tonight, as they happily munched away on the pizza, my mind wandered to what I could write about this experience. It wouldn't really work on the Low Cost Low Carb blog, although it's all natural and a great vehicle for veggies. Then I considered this blog. My son and I did have a conversation about our homemade pizza vs. Dominoes', during which he learned that he could have 32 pizzas that he made for the cost of 1 take-away pizza. ("And yours is made with LOVE, Boo. Dominoes doesn't put love in their pizzas.") After a few more minutes of silent chewing he settled my mental debate for me.

With the wisdom and mature stoicism that's a bit scary coming out of a little kid, my son suggested "the next time we move, you should get the recipe so we can have this again".

As a military family, we move all the time. We do our best to make the transitions as easy as we can for the kids, and hope they're too little yet to notice. Obviously, they noticed. And accept it, too, apparently. As much mayhem as it causes in our lives, the lost friends, foreign surroundings, trials and challenges, the kids' only concern was that we could enjoy that pizza again in a new home. Together. Now THAT'S a recipe I'll never forget.

No Soap For You!

I probably should have known better than to leave a 2-year-old alone with running water and liquid soap. At least, when I put it that way, I should have known better. But it was just a trickle of water, and I'd already overseen the soap application, and the pump was out of reach... wasn't it? And I was only out of sight for a moment, wasn't I? Besides, she's an experienced hand-washer. These are germy times in which we live, and a child has to learn young how to combat e-coli, salmonella and the flu. She's been scrubbing her own paws since before she could walk. Perhaps that was my downfall. An experienced hand-washer knows that if a little soap is good, then more is better. If one squirt will get you clean, then two, or three, or ten squirts will get you really, really clean. She also knew that the knob on the right gets you more water, and it's not too hot on that side either (that OTHER side can be dicey, especially if somebody flushes). And so, applying her years of hand-washing wisdom, my toddler cleaned her hands. And the vanity. And her clothes. And the floor. Sheesh! It takes me way longer to clean the bathroom and do the laundry. Perhaps I should try wearing the laundry while cleaning the bathroom; it worked for her. Sort of.

Sorry, Dave, I'm Hungry!

Dave Ramsey rocks. Really. Even my husband, who has never balanced his bank account in his life, respects the man and his common sense. Financial Peace University (FPU) was more of a reminder for me - I spent most lessons thinking, "This is what my parents do!" rather than being shocked as some people are by the idea of using cash, or that auto loans aren't a way of life. No, there were no big shocks to me in FPU. That's not to say that it wasn't worth it! Financial Peace was a wonderful tool for resetting our financial priorities, working on the future together, and meeting others with the same lifestyle. As with anything, having friends who are going through the same experiences with you makes it much easier and more pleasant.

For the most part. See, on the community forums and discussion boards on the Dave Ramsey sites, there's one snippet of information that I just can't handle. According to the boards, $100 per month per person is what you're expected to spend on food, including groceries and dining out. If you dine out, you know you can blow that in one meal! Even if you always eat at home, $100 per person for a whole month is tough. Add my husband's low-carb specialty food, my picky son's favorites, and the amount of food our 2-year-old "shares" with the pets and the floor, and $100 becomes a distant dream, like a legend of yore. "Once upon a time, there was a family that lived on $100 per person per month... ".

Are there families who do it? Absolutely. Have we done it? On occasion, when I dedicated myself to cooking everything from scratch, every meal, every snack, everything. We shop at warehouse stores, buy generics, and use coupons. Ultimately, though, it's just not enough. Sorry, Dave. I think some nights I burn more calories cooking than eating. Sure the frozen, portioned, "natural" chicken breasts at Sam's are $2/lb, but I don't want to think about the various "cost cutting" measures that went into that price (shudder!). Sometimes I need food that's fresh, or organic, or gourmet - especially since we don't go out to eat any more. I truly admire the people who live on ramen noodles and peanut butter and pay off their debt in 3 months, but I just can't do that to my family. Perhaps if it were still just my husband and I, or if we owed the IRS or had some big scary debt like that. Yes, all debt is evil, but I just can't get so upset about my auto loan to starve. When our day comes to call in to The Dave Ramsey Show and yell, we'll be the ones saying, "We're debt free, AND we're full!"

The Dry Erase Board Made Me Do It

I don't want to write this. Seriously, I've been suffering from the worst writers' block I've had since college - maybe since high school. So the very idea of sitting here, writing even a single word made my skin crawl. But I had to do it. My whiteboard made me.

I'm a very visual person. Surprisingly, I have terrible eyesight, but a slightly photographic memory. If I've seen a business logo, I can find their storefront effortlessly, even though I can't read the street signs or numbers until I'm on top of them (without my glasses, that is). In any case, I've been contemplating getting a dry erase board for my home office for months. I think I hesitated for so long because I suspected it would just become clutter in my already crowded office. I can't stand clutter; I can't think straight in a cluttered space. My obsession for clear space drives my husband batty since he grew up surrounded by nick-knacks, but I digress.

A few weeks ago, I took the plunge, spent the 7 bucks and got a dry erase board. Why did I wait so long?! Even in the checkout line, the woman behind me saw me buying the dry erase board and gushed with praise for the one in her own kitchen. That's always a good sign! A few minutes later and I had my new whiteboard propped up on my desk - but what to write on it? Did I mention it's a magnetic dry erase board? That's right - extra options. Should I doodle happy thoughts and images? Make clear black & white lists? Color code tasks? Yes! Just what a visual learner needs - color. In the end, my whiteboard was covered with reminders for all sorts of assignments, each in its own special color. Lately, the soothing green of writing assignments has been replaced with reds and oranges - demanding urgent action, so here I am.

Dry erase boards come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. They may have calendars or to-do lists pre-printed on them, or come with an attached cork board or chalk board. Mine is magnetic, so I can post a picture or note as well. However, beware of magnetic dry erase boards if you're the type who likes to hide your fridge under a wall of kids' art. Speaking of art, did you know you can use dry erase markers to write on glass? I've decorated the mirror in our main bathroom in the theme of playgroups and parties (musical notes, grapes and vines, reindeer, etc...) just for fun. Of course you can always just leave a note for your significant other ("Hang up the towel!") if you prefer. Dry erase board or mirror, it's your choice, but either way gets the message across - even to yourself!

Cleaning Calendar

Of all the things I do every day, housework is the least important, at least in my book. Of course I like to have a clean house, and chores need to be done, but really, in the grand scheme of the universe, housework is pretty lame. In order to keep housework to a minimum, and keep a house that I'm not ashamed of if someone drops by, I use the Motivated Moms cleaning calendar. These clever ladies came up with an annual calendar which includes daily chores as well as all those once-in-a-while cleaning tasks that we all forget until the Spring Cleaning bug bites. Not only do they break down all your household chores, but they include menu planning forms and daily planning forms to keep you on top of your organization priorities. They update the calendar each year, and offer it for a very reasonable $ 8 a year. My cleaning chores are sadly immortal, so I simply downloaded the old 2002 calendar they offer for free at the bottom of their product page. ***Update 1/4/10 New for 2010, the free calendar has been removed :/ However, the price of their regular 2010 calendar remains at $8 and samples of the current calendars are available for you to at least review before you buy.

Once a month or so, I update my planner with the cleaning schedule for the next month. I also keep the daily list of cleaning chores on the back of my Franklin Covey Compass Card. I've added a few things to the daily list (and omitted a few, too). A dry erase marker can be used on the plastic card sleeve to cross off my list every day and easily wiped clean for the next day. The Motivated Moms say that if you stick to their cleaning calendar, you'll have a clean home in less than 2 hours a day, and a life beyond housework. I've never timed myself, but I suspect that prediction is just about right. I've been using this cleaning calendar for over a year and I really find it useful. They have numerous updates and versions available, so check out their site and see if there's a Motivated Moms cleaning calendar for you. Right now, their 2009 calendars are on sale for half-price! Such a deal!

Recycling & Getting Green

Sure, recycling is great for the planet, but in some cases it can put cash in your pocket, too. Who doesn't like getting paid to go green?

Gazelle.com pays cash for your used electronics, then recycles it. In fact, if for some reason your old electronics are so old and useless that they can't make you a cash offer, they'll still accept and recycle it for you. You'd be hard pressed to find electronics so outdated they offered you nothing, though. I recycled a 1996 laptop through them last year, and the hardest part was lugging the thing to the UPS store to ship it. I guessed the wrong processor when I gave them the information, so they did lower their offer when they received it. It was my mistake, and I had the option of declining the new offer, in which case they would have shipped it back to me. However, I was perfectly happy to accept "only" $ 103 for my ancient hardware. I just wish I had more stuff to send them!

PaperbackSwap.com is another useful site, especially for an avid reader like me. At PaperbackSwap, you send in used books and earn credit with them. Then you can use that credit to pick up books others have sent in. It's sort of a combination of a public library and Netflix, but for books. In spite of the name, they offer more than just paperbacks. Many people have been able to find books on this site that they couldn't locate anywhere else, and my book club can always find enough copies of our monthly read for everyone. Before one move a few years ago, my family donated 6 cases of brand-new hardbound books to the local library. While I'm all for supporting your local library, just think of how many new books we could have read if we'd used PaperbackSwap instead!

So dust off those old electronics and raid your bookshelves. Recycle your used electronics and books and enjoy the rewards.

The Lost Art of the RSVP

Our family hosts several large gatherings each year - a Beware of the Irish toga party in the spring, various birthday parties throughout the year, and other casual gatherings. These events usually involve weeks of planning and hundreds of dollars, both of which we gladly invest in the interest of giving our friends a good time. In recent years, however, we've noticed a disturbing, and perturbing, trend: no one RSVPs anymore. I mean, NO ONE.

R.S.V.P. is short for Re'pondez-vous, s'il vous plait, which is French for "please reply". You don't have to speak French to recognize those letters and act on them! Failing to let your host know if you can attend their event or not is exceedingly rude, and will likely insure that you won't be invited to future events. Think of it this way: If you were talking to your host face to face, and he said, "Would you care to join us for Yahtzee on Saturday evening?", would you walk off without a word, leaving him standing there wondering what the heck is wrong with you? Of course not, but failing to RSVP to any invitation is doing just that. Your host is trying to give you a gift - their event. Without an RSVP from everyone invited, your host can't calculate how much food to have, if he needs to buy or borrow extra gear, or whether to bother throwing the party at all!

Some people claim confusion about the various forms of invitations as their excuse for not responding, but this article will answer any questions you may have. When you RSVP upon receiving an invitation, you can immediately schedule that event in your planner, schedule any preparations, such as buying a gift or having an outfit dry cleaned, and start looking forward to the event. Your host will be grateful for your prompt reply and look forward to your company. It's a win-win situation. So dig through your inbox, your fridge magnets, and anywhere else you may have stashed a pending invitation or two, and RSVP now. Then enjoy your busy social life!

5 Biggest Wastes of Time

For a multi-tasker like me, daily time management is like casting a big fishing net every morning, and hauling it in at night. Every morning I throw my energy and attention into the world, covering a broad area. Each thread is a different task, appointment, or activity. At the end of the day, I haul in my net and hope to find it full of accomplishments. Most of the time I do, but I can lose it all if I have too many loose ends. A good time management system can help ensure those wily threads are kept to a minimum. Knowing which activities can cut your lines can help even more! Here are some of my biggest wastes of time, the jagged rocks that tear up my daily net.

Social Networking Sites. How much time does it take to peek at Facebook? Only a moment, unless you keep looking, reading through all the comments and back posts... I don't spend any time using apps, and I still waste too much time this way.

Defrosting Dinner. If I just take the stupid chicken out of the freezer the night before, then I don't waste any time defrosting dinner. In fact, if I make a menu for the week, I don't waste time trying to think of what's for dinner, either.

Worrying about things that might happen. Why waste any time or energy worrying about what might be? Most of the time, everything works out. Even if it doesn't, you can deal with it when it happens, or at least after it becomes more clear what the problem is, rather than what it could be.

Email. Check email once a day, no more. You may have to do this more frequently depending on your job, but I don't. I often do check more frequently than that, but when I do, I waste time. Ideally, email should be checked at one consistent point during the day. If someone requires your immediate attention, they can call you.

Remaking the beds. I'm all for making the beds once a day, when you first get up. My oldest child has been doing this since he was 3. A made bed is a simple, instant accomplishment that sets the state of mind on "organized". It reduces visual clutter and provides a clean work surface. The cats are quite partial to the decorative pillows, too. Having said all that, it's a waste of time to make the bed over and over. There are days I must make the bed half a dozen times, after a pillow fight or nap time or making a fort under the covers. Of course, I don't get to play all these games, I just clean up after the kids have moved on to something new. This is one crazy waste of time.

Do you recognize any of these wastes of time? Lots of time management articles and books talk about using time efficiently in the office, but what about at home? Or in the home office? Email and voicemail are almost always mentioned, but what about my frozen chicken issue? To be honest, I never realized how much time I was wasting standing in the kitchen, turning over each piece every 2 minutes, on low, covering the edges, and disinfecting every surface in the house just to start making dinner! I hope you'll laugh at my weird wastes of time and ferret out a few of your own. I, for one, took dinner out of the freezer last night.

Gotta Love the First

I recently read that it's best to begin a new exercise routine on a Monday because Mondays are a fresh start, you're (relatively) well-rested from the weekend, and if you mess up, another Monday is right around the corner. Not bad logic, if you ask me! I feel the same way about the First of each month. The First is like a Monday "fresh start", but for bigger projects. It's also an opportunity to take care of all those little things that I'd forget if I didn't do them on the same day every month. Here are a few of the thing that make my First list.

*Update my planner. I use a paper planner, so on the First I take out the oldest month and add one for future planning. I save all my old planner pages in storage sleeves for reference.
*Give the pets their monthly medications, like heart worm and flea & tick prevention.
*Plan the next month's budget. Actually, I try to do this before the First. I think of the First as the final deadline for the monthly budget.
*Review my annual goals. If I see any that I've been neglecting, this is when I try to commit to work on it more in the coming month.
*Clean the inside of the dishwasher, the garbage disposal, the detergent tray in the washing machine, the lint trap in the dryer, clean out the fridge, etc... Once you get in the habit of cleaning these things once a month, you'll never have one of those days when you walk in the door and wonder, "What died in here?" again.

Are any of these tasks monumental? No, not at all. In fact, I could probably go a month or two without doing them, but I wouldn't be happy about it. I like starting out the month clean and organized and in control of my home and life. I just like having all my ducks in a row. Or maybe, rabbits. Years ago, I was taught to start every month by saying, "Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit!" before anything else, for good luck. I have no idea where it came from, but perhaps that's really the most important routine of every First for me. Whether it's blind superstition or balancing the books, the First is all about getting into that "fresh start" state of mind.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy & safe Fourth of July!

Doggie Daycare

I used to think that doggie daycare was just for yuppie puppies in urban high-rise condos. That was before we adopted Orion. He's 100+ pounds of love. And neediness. And separation anxiety. Orion was abandoned as a young dog, and there's no way to tell how long he was alone before being brought to the Humane Society. The wonderful people at the shelter here gave him food and love and after about two months with them, Orion found a home with us. We love him, and we try to work around his issues as much as we can. The problem is that he cannot be left alone. Ever. We can't kennel or crate him, or he rubs his nose and paws raw trying to find us. We hope with time and training he will learn to trust that we'll never leave him, but right now, he's simply too scared of being abandoned again to leave him at all.

I realize most people reading this are probably thinking, "Oh for Pete's sake! He's a dog. Let him bark or cry, eventually he'll get used to it." Worse, I've had people tell me to my face, "Forget that! I would have just returned him by now!". That mentality always ticks me off, since it was selfish people who made him neurotic in the first place! We're just trying to make up for the mistakes of others, since neither Orion, nor any other dog (or animal, for that matter), ever deserves to be mistreated, neglected, abandoned or abused. Even if you don't agree with me, or perhaps especially if you don't, but you have a pet, please keep reading.

We found a solution in a local doggie daycare. Play N Stay lets us drop off Orion any day of the week. We bought a package of 20 days, so each day only costs us $9. He has constant companionship, a small pack of friends he plays with once a week, and humans we trust to watch over him. This daycare and boarding facility is part of a pet complex run by a vet, so in case of an emergency, Orion would get immediate medical care. It is also a regular sponsor of the local Humane Society where we got Orion, and some of the employees work at both places. They know about his individual needs and have worked with us week after week to make Orion more relaxed and happy with us and with them.

Each Thursday, Orion can't wait to go to his "puppy playdate", and I can run all my errands or go on outings I couldn't do with the dog. I've noticed that I get more done and spend less money when I plan ahead for my Thursday shopping. In fact, I'm usually so organized that I can do several weeks worth of errands in the one day, and enjoy the next few Thursdays at the beach or the bookstore or anywhere else I want to go. This time apart is an important part of Orion's therapy, learning that we'll always come back for him. It's also some breathing space for me, as if my toddler was at Grandma's for a few hours. The socialization he gains playing with other dogs helps boost his confidence, and he simply loves it. To be honest, he's socializing us, too, since we've met some wonderful people because of Orion. If we ever do leave Orion for a few days, we know he'll be safe and happy with people he loves in a familiar environment.

No matter where you live, or what you've heard about doggie daycare in the past, I encourage you to consider if it's a resource that could improve the quality of your life and your dog's. Most people aren't dealing with the severe emotional challenges we see in Orion, but as you can see, there are lots of benefits to finding good canine care, both for the dogs and their people.

My New Time Management Weapon

Yesterday began week two of my neatly outlined and well-scheduled summer break. As regular readers of this blog know, my Mondays are the height of production and organization. It was a busy weekend, but I got to bed at a reasonable hour Sunday night, prepared to hit the ground running at 5 am on Monday morning. Well, I'm a mom, and life happens. I didn't get any sleep and I got a late start yesterday morning. No worries, right? Just dive right in! Well, it turns out it wasn't that simple.

Over the weekend I made a couple of simple mistakes. One was using money from the wrong account for a shopping trip. I still haven't figured out where I got the idea that toilet paper comes out of the food budget, but somehow I found myself with less money at the checkout than I'd thought. I had enough to cover my groceries, but I spent hours wondering how I'd lost $ 60. My husband was very understanding and confident that it was a simple error and we would find the money again, which it was, and we did. Still, I was angry at myself for doing it in the first place - I'm supposed to be very organized, right? The other "mistake" I made wasn't really a mistake. It was having an article turned down. Sigh. It's hard for me to even write it, but the simple fact is that writers have worse stats than baseball players, and the best baseball players fail 70% of the time. So it shouldn't have come as a surprise, and I certainly had no reason to take it personally. In fact, contrary to the horror stories you hear about cruel rejection letters, my editor in this case was quite polite and encouraging. Somehow, though, I let my mistakes compound and took them very personally indeed. By Monday, I was paralyzed with fear of making another mistake. I sat at the computer checking every email, chatting on Facebook, and surfing the internet. At one point, I almost considered balancing my checkbook.

Noon came and went and I finally took a break from my procrastination to feed my kids. The kids, oblivious to my great failures, were perfectly content to shake their tailfeathers with Ray Charles and the Blues Brothers between bites, laughing and dancing and pulling on my leg to join them. I knew I had to bite the bullet, write another article, and get on with my life, or I'd miss out on all the fun. I promised the kids I'd write for one more hour, then we could go play in the pool until dinner time. Then, I put myself in time-out. I set the old-fashioned kitchen timer for 60 minutes, pulled the office door closed and got to work.

My office door is actually a decorative screen, and there's another doorway to the living room that's only covered with drapes, so I wasn't really ensconced at all. I could still hear the kids clearly, and they could still get to me easily. So perhaps it was the constant tick-tick-tick of the fat, round dial behind me that kept me focused. Maybe that visual and audible reminder was the signal we all needed to declare that time as work time for mom. For whatever reason, it worked. At the end of an hour, I had an article. A few minutes of proofreading and final editing later, it was out of my hands, off for submission to my editor, done. Now, it could come right back to me for revision, or, worst case scenario, it could be turned down. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I'm here, writing again without fear, and my kids and I plan to hit the pool much earlier today.

Adjusting to Summer Schedules

Yea! It's summer vacation! I admit I'm probably more excited than my kids about it, since they like school so much. I don't dislike the school year, but I do enjoy the freedom of a summer without schedules. Well, schedules imposed on us by someone else, that is. Being the control freak that I am, I have a summer schedule for my family all worked out, even though it's only the first week of summer vacation. As a work-at-home mom, I was really looking forward to the change from "their" schedule to my own. It always bothers me that my husband rarely gets home before six, but the kids need to be in bed by eight during the school year. Somehow we're supposed to enjoy a family dinner, baths, stories and so called "quality time" in those two hours. What usually happens is more like two hours of mayhem; what a lousy way to end the day. So generally, our family schedule in the summer runs well into the evening and those long, summer nights. While the kids sleep in, I plan to get my work done by continuing to get up as early as I do during the school year, about 5 am.



So far, I haven't kept to the schedule even one day. Only yesterday was I close, because I had meetings and obligations outside of the home, so I had to be on time. Monday, though, I slept in, simply because I could. Tuesday I got up on time, but my husband was home, so I talked to him instead of working. On Wednesday, there was a great thunderstorm, so the kids and pets all piled on top of me for comfort, and who am I to deny them that love? As I said, yesterday went pretty well, but today is Friday, and I've pretty much resigned myself to starting with a clean slate on Monday.

They say when you receive a financial windfall, you should play with ten per cent of it or you run the risk of blowing it all. The way I see it, this week was our ten per cent of play. I'm glad I have a schedule to aspire to, but I don't mind having a little wiggle room. Next week, I really should get down to business, but I'll be more relaxed and rested knowing I had a little vacation between schedules.

Yard Sale Virgins

Yup, we've been married for ten years, but my husband and I were yard sale virgins until yesterday. It's hard to believe we held out so long considering we have to move every few years, but we've always just packed up, donated, or thrown out everything each time. We're not moving again yet, but someone in our neighborhood decided to round up a community yard sale this weekend. We live well off the main drag, so we figured this would be our best chance to get good traffic to our yard sale. In spite of having no clue what we were doing, only weeks to prepare, and the fact that I was already committed to be out of town that day, we signed on.

Finding things to sell around the house and finding good information online about how to set everything up was relatively easy. (By the way, that's not OUR sign. I got that image off of flickr.com but I wish I HAD made it!) The actual cleaning, pricing, arranging and cleaning up around the sale was a lot - a LOT - of hard work. We knew it would be, so that was ok, too. What we didn't learn about anywhere ahead of time was the emotional toll it would take on us. No, we don't need no stinkin' therapy or anything like that. But there were a few unexpected sides to our yard sale that I want to share with other yard sale virgins out there, so that you might gain from our experience.

My mother would never, ever have a yard sale simply because she would be horrified at the mere thought of strangers viewing all her stuff. She's a very quiet, reserved Bostonian, and putting her personal effects on display would appall her. Well, I'm not that prim and proper (sorry, Mum) and I'm a bit more outgoing and hey, we live in the South, so I'm ok with people going through my stuff. Or so I thought. For the most part, I didn't mind. Most people are pleasant and respectful and well aware that they're at your home and these are things that meant something to you at some point. To be honest, no one was mean at all. But the first time a car slows down, eyes you and your stuff over, and speeds away - it's pretty disconcerting. It's kind of like being rejected by a stalker. Creepy.

Once the sale was in full swing, our kids couldn't resist coming out to play. We'd hoped to avoid this because they're quite young and it's hard to watch your toys going home with someone else. On the other hand, they really wanted to know what was going on, and we had prepared them for weeks by explaining it as a way of recycling. Kids today, even young ones, are remarkably "green", and naturally kind, too. They were great about sharing their things with other families. Every now and then a toy would appear that they truly loved and refused to let go. We removed those few toys from the yard sale without question, remembering that this was about cleaning house, recycling, and working together as a family - not punishment.

The final emotional surprise, for me, was the broad range of guests we had. Some were obviously well off financially and simply enjoyed browsing, others were specialty collectors on a mission, and then there were the truly poor families. It was remarkably humbling to watch a young mother try to choose the very best of your used toys for the two dollars she has. Toys that we spent far more than two dollars on so our kids could ignore and forget them almost immediately.

So would we do it again? Yes, we've already agreed to before our next move. It's a lot of work and we wouldn't want to hold a yard sale more than once every year or two. On the flip side, we found homes for a lot of our things, met a lot of pleasant people, and made a few "fun tickets", as Jimmy Buffett would say. We had the opportunity to work together with our neighbors and enjoy a gorgeous Saturday in May. It may be a while before our next one though - I think I'm going to spend some time appreciating what I have.

Mom's Secret Weapons

Last night our whole family "camped in". That means we unfurled the sleeping bags and lanterns in the living room, fired up the fireplace DVD (hey, it was pouring here and real fires are against neighborhood bylaws), and settled in together. My kids are little, 5 and 2, so they snuggle down in my double bag with me (hubby gets the air mattress). The cats curl up at our feet, and the dog passes out at our heads. It's a little goofy but really, how often do we moms get to enjoy the whole family snuggling up and sleeping in our arms? I treasure it all the more knowing each time may be the last time as the kids grow older and more independent every day.

Of course, being mom, it was up to me to turn off the "fire" after everyone fell asleep, and settle down the restless sleepers and nightmares one by one. At one point I even checked to make sure our old Maine Coon cat was still breathing (he was, rather huffily after I disturbed him, actually). So it wasn't surprising that at dawn, it was also me who heard the dreaded, "Voopa, Voopa, Voopa..." of a pet about to barf. With appropriately cat-like reflexes, I located said pet, our Tortie cat, Callie, and scrambled to intervene. The urge to purge had apparently stricken her while she was reclining on my ecru chenille rocker, because it was from this perch that she was presently heaving. I tried desperately to grab a nearby baby blanket to throw in front of her, but I was pinned down on both sides by sleeping kids, and the dog, sensing my panic, thrust his gigantic head in my face, blocking any forward movement. Callie, 1, chair, floor, two pillows, and my arm, 0.

Fortunately, I have a few weapons on hand for just these kinds of messes. After washing off my arm, I removed the pillow cases and threw them in the washer with OxyClean on the auto rinse & soak cycle. For the chair and the pillows themselves, I grabbed the Folex carpet cleaner. A few years ago I tried it on a rust stain nothing else had been able to remove. Folex got it out with almost no effort at all. Now I find myself reaching for it whenever I've got a soft surface crisis on my hands. The floor was the easy part, since she missed the carpet. For hard surfaces I use Simple Green, quick and easy.

By about quarter past dawn, the crisis was over. My toddler slept through the whole thing, right there in the middle of the floor. That's just fine with me, because all those products I reach for time and again are non-toxic. In spite of their more annoying attributes (like bulimia), we love our pets. Putting up with their messes is one way to show them, cleaning up with eco-friendly products is another. It's a good thing Mom's arsenal holds some great (not-so) secret weapons.

Keeping it in Perspective

Not long after my last post, I was offered a job opportunity I'd really, really been hoping to get. I was thrilled! I even did the little football end-zone happy dance in my office - the dog just cocked his head and looked at me like I was possessed. I dove right in and began work immediately, taking a megaladon-sized bite out of my new workload with enthusiasm and gratitude.

Eight hours later, the house was a wreck, the kids were hungry, and my husband was looking at me pretty much the way the dog had as I jabbed my hair sticks back into my dishevelled bun for the hundredth time. My Monday, my precious Monday, was shot. I'd gotten nothing done and had managed to create a new mountain of obligations on top of the old mess. I was stressed to the max, and all I could think was, "What have I done?".

So yesterday became my Monday. As a WAHM, I'm lucky to have that flexibility. And thank goodness I do, because when I did, finally, get my schedule together, it wasn't pretty. In fact, it was downright ugly. What I hadn't realized initially was that I had committed to at least 20 hours a week of work for this new job. Because the hours were completely self-imposed, I never scheduled them or took that workload into consideration. So there I was, horrified by a wonderful opportunity - what a miserable place to be! On Tuesday, I had to resort to some hard-core planning. Now, I'm a Franklin Covey girl from way back, and I love my FC planner, but this required even more planning. No, for those days or weeks when I can't get out of my own way, I take my planning to a whole new Type A level. First, I print off a hard copy of the week in half-hour increments using Outlook on my computer. It sounds complicated, but it's basically just a disposable weekly calendar. In this case, I did the next two weeks because they're going to be insane. Then I write all the hard and fast, concrete appointments on the calendar. Don't get too geeked out on me and run away here, but I have to confess that I color code all of my notes - work is orange, working out is lavender, my husband's items are navy blue, etc... I happen to be a visual learner with a photographic memory, so using colors really helps me. Obviously you don't need to take it that far. After I get all my color-coded appointments on the calendar, I go back and fill in all my tasks when and where they fit. That way I know there's a time scheduled to complete everything I need to do. Whew! This week's calendar looked like a flippin' carnival by the time I was done. It was so busy (and colorful) that my husband silently placed a glass of wine next to me after he saw it.

Did it help? Was it worth it? After all, I took a whole other day out of my week to replace the Monday I messed up, and the planning took about an hour to straighten out. It was absolutely worth it. In fact, I couldn't be here, writing for you this morning if I hadn't done it. Worse, I would have had another sleepless night and be reaching for the Alka-Seltzer by now. Not only do I now have all my responsibilities and obligations organized, but my family can see clearly what I'm up against in the next few weeks. Finally, the greatest reward for me was gaining a clear perspective. After crunching the numbers and seeing the schedule, I realized I can't find 20 hours a week to work right now. I realized that I was pushing myself much too hard, and that I could choose to work less (or at least start out more gradually) and spend more time with my kids. In two weeks, school will be out for the summer, two large commitments I have to work on now will have wrapped up, and we'll be cooking out with good friends on a sunny summer evening. Will the next two weeks still be busy? You bet, but now I can make it through with clear objectives and the finish line in my sights.

T.G.I. Monday

Ah, Fridays. Five o'clock happy hour, the whole weekend ahead, trading in work for fun for the next few days... yeah, right. Moms work 24/7, 365 days a year, so sadly, I confess, Fridays have lost a bit of their lustre for me. But Mondays are all mine, and I'll tell you how and why.

As I said, once you're a mom you don't get "weekends" anymore - you work every day. Weekends with the family or friends are great, but by Monday most of us are, well, we're behind on our work. Have you ever gone on vacation and left the house a mess in your rush to get out? Well, as much fun as weekends can be, most Mondays are like coming home to a house with dishes in the sink. If you're a working mom or a work-at-home mom, you have to contend with Monday headaches at the office too. No wonder everyone hates Mondays!

What's a mom to do? Well, I take Mondays off. Mondays are me-time in my book. I don't leave my house if at all possible. I don't schedule any appointments, or answer any calls. Mondays are for cleaning up the weekend's mess and getting all my ducks in a row to face the rest of the week. All I do is clean, organize and plan (okay, and write a bit, too). Even if you work full time outside of the home, you can do this. Just keep your calendar as open as possible. Sure, you'll have a few commitments, but so do I (someone's got to feed the kids). After you get in the habit of scheduling appointments or meetings Tuesday through Friday for a few weeks, you'll find yourself looking forward to the extra breathing room Mondays allow. If possible, take it a step further by setting up your email and voicemail to indicate that you're available Tuesday through Friday. Go ahead and screen those calls - who's time is it, anyway? YOU be the judge of what's important in YOUR life. In fact, after a few mind-clearing Mondays, you may find yourself planning your time so efficiently that you're more productive and less stressed throughout the week.

Could you choose another day? Yes, but I chose Mondays for a few reasons. First, the weekends really throw off my schedule, and by Monday I need to get organized again. Second, the husband and kids go back to work and school on Monday, so I've got more time to myself, more quiet, a fighting chance to complete a thought without interruption. Granted, I have a toddler at home, but it's still a much more calm environment than over the weekend. The third reason is that I want to make the best use of my one day "off". Mondays are historically horrible for trying to get anything done. Everyone and his brother are trying to reach the same call center, or get to the post office, or pay the same bills. Some companies will tell you point blank to contact them Tuesday through Thursday for the best service! Who wants less than the best service? Who wants to waste time on hold or in line? Not me. No, I'll call the cable guy on Tuesday, thanks, or return that package on Thursday morning. Finally, I like starting the work week with a clean home and clear mind. I am far more relaxed and optimistic about the upcoming week with a sanctuary and a plan to support me for the next seven days.

By Friday, I'm ready to kick off another crazy weekend. No matter what happens, I know I'll get it together again on Monday. Thank Goodness It's Monday!

*** Special thanks to BlingCheese.com for making Mondays look that much better - everything's better with Johnny.

Avoid Anything that Eats

Avoid anything that eats. Have you heard that old adage? If you never have a plant, a pet, or a kid, you'll save yourself lots of money and headaches. It costs $16,000 to own a medium-sized dog over his lifetime, and hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise a child from birth to 18 - college not included! Think those cute kittens are free? How about $80 at the vet, or $ 18 of cat food every few weeks. Even the plants will cost you. First you have to put them in something, then something bigger, and bigger, and in the meantime you have to water them, too. At some point, your cat will eat and barf up your plant, so you'll be shucking out more cash for carpet cleaner, too. Right now our $ 600 Dyson "Animal" vacuum is in the shop (again) so we had to spend another $300 for a "back-up" vacuum. I'm no neat freak, I confess, but even I can't go more than a few days without a vacuum in a house with 2 cats, a dog and 2 kids under six. I'll be using said back-up vacuum to clean up the shards and splinters of my bedroom door, which my "free" rescued dog just mauled. He just missed me (aw, isn't that sweet?). I can't imagine what it will cost to replace the door frame, since the cats have always focused more on destroying soft surfaces. I think I've curbed the spending for today at least. I put the dog outside, next to the cheap furniture. I'm almost certain he won't destroy that. Uh-oh. I think I see him eying the door frame there, too. I may have to intervene soon.

Of course, if you're reading this, you're probably already a mom. You're thinking, "Oh Great! Now what do I do with these kids? If only I'd known!" No worries. Although kids and other things that eat do cost us a lot of money, and time, and patience (and money, if I hadn't already mentioned that), they do bring something to the table. Love, fulfillment, purpose, and fun, just to name a few perks. It's sometimes hard to remember the intangibles when you're staring down the bills or cleaning up yet another mess, but if you stop and just take a moment to appreciate how much they add to our lives, I think you'll find the benefits outweigh the costs. Even big dumb dogs are worth it.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to call the dog trainer about his bill and learn how to install replacement moulding around a door. Oh, $%$#@!, he's going for the window now, and I don't do windows!

Insomnia Cures You Can Use Tonight

"You have a toddler - of course you're not sleeping much. Here, have an anti-depressant. It will help you relax."

That's what one physician told me when I asked about my chronic insomnia years ago. If you're thinking that was a stupid response, you can guess what I was thinking! I've had insomnia as long as I can remember, throughout my life starting in childhood. My toddler was sleeping through the night perfectly well, and I wasn't depressed. It was exactly responses like that from the general medical community that kept me from even mentioning it to a doctor before. Since then, however, I've sought alternative solutions to help me sleep for several reasons. One reason is that the older I get, the more I need my beauty sleep. But the more serious reason is that I've since learned that many sleep disorders are genetic. My mum has never slept well, and now I'm watching my kids struggle some nights. I found myself looking for ways to help not just myself, but three generations of lousy sleepers.

How to Save Money on Sleep Aids
The link above details a number of non-prescription ways to improve your sleep. I think the holistic path is the preferred first option for most people. It's less severe and often less expensive than medical care. Discussed in the article are your environment and personal attitude toward rest, but be sure to check out the "related articles" section on the right for links to more useful information.

If you find yourself in need of medical help to get the sleep you need, the following article regarding talking to your doctor about a prescription may help you avoid the miscommunication I had with my doctor years ago. For many people, especially busy women, it's very hard to make our demands or needs clear. If that other person is an authority figure, like a doctor, it can be even more challenging, but it's vital that you're able to express yourself and get the true care you need.
How to Talk to a Doctor About a Prescription

Each person has a certain set of ideal conditions for quality sleep, so keep trying new options until you find the perfect combination for you. You don't just need sleep to function well and maintain your health, you deserve a good night's sleep. Sleep is when we relax and dream. No matter what other demands you face throughout your day, everyone deserves the chance to dream.

Sweet dreams.

Painless Planning

Planning comes naturally to me. I'm very organized. Okay, maybe I'm more of a control freak. Either way, planning, as I said, is a very natural process for me. Long before I settled on a time management system, my "to-do" lists were in neat outlined form, complete with Roman numerals and color coding. Now that I'm at home full time, I continue to use the same time management system I chose when I was working full time, B.C. (before children), even though the appointments and tasks are worlds apart. I begin each day by prioritizing my tasks and planning the rest of my day. I'm a pretty laid-back mom, but in order for me to have time to goof off with my kids, I need that daily structure.

Now my husband is not a natural planner. In fact, even when he does try to plan it's hard to follow through because his handwriting is so bad. We call it Jockimoglyphics. This spring, after over a decade of seeing my planner out on the breakfast bar every morning, he finally learned the technique himself. I've been very careful to keep my mouth shut and let him follow through on his own. Well, most of the time I keep quiet. Sometimes, though, I can't help nagging him. I mean, it's ...right... there! For followers of Dave Ramsey, I'm the Nerd, and he's the Free Spirit. When it comes to anything administrative, even if it's for his own convenience, he just can't stand it. And I can't stand to be without it.

So how do we bridge the gap? How do we plan together, so that we're on the same page, supporting each other's big goals and small projects, and not drive either of us mad? We do our weekly planning on Sunday afternoon. Yesterday it was gorgeous outside, so we brought our planners, the kids, the dog and a bottle of wine out on the back porch. Did it take a little longer than if we'd simply stood at the kitchen counter and cross-checked appointments? Sure. But we had a relaxed, pleasant afternoon, and we were able to discuss beyond the week's appointments. We talked about long-term goals and short-term challenges, and helped each other come up with solutions. I got my plan in stone and he got his leisurely afternoon.

Of course, it wasn't just that it was a lovely day, so this week's planning session was easier than most. The point is that we chose the best environment for the task. Maybe you don't have a yard, or a spouse. How about doing your planning at a coffee shop with great acoustic music? A small part of me permanently stuck in the 80s sometimes thrives in my SUV with rock blaring, too. Just make sure you're not driving and writing at the same time. The best setting will vary from person to person, and week to week. Experiment. Be creative. Invite a friend or two to join you and help each other find new solutions to nagging problems. Take a few moments to consider a favorite place or two you could do your own planning. Not only will your planning sessions be painless, they may well be more productive too.

Wishing each and every one of the mothers, grandmothers, and mothers-to-be of beloved children of both the 2 and 4 legged varieties peace and joy throughout this Mother's Day. You are all Amazing Women!

That Damn Grocery Bill

I have a friend who brags about getting 2 weeks worth of groceries for $ 53 and earning enough reward points in the process to do it again the next week. She's a lovely woman, really, but I just want to see an entire floor display of, say, Wheaties come crashing down on her when she tells me this stuff. I've tried the tips and tricks of those crazy coupon ladies who feed 11 families in their towns on a buck and a half a week, and I just can't do it. The coupons are always for stuff I wouldn't buy anyway, and that's IF some weasel hasn't stolen them out of my Sunday paper before I get it. And who determines portion sizes, anyway? Sure, I could feed my family for half the money if we only ate 6 ounces of food at a sitting... and it was mostly generic white rice. No way, not in my house. We're all lean, active, healthy people and we still eat far more food than most "serving suggestions" would lead you to believe is appropriate.

So every month I contend with That Damn Grocery Bill. In our house, I do the shopping and cooking for the family. I actually enjoy cooking. In fact, if money were no object (and when I lived like it wasn't, but it really should have been) I'm a total foodie. Therein lies my first downfall - I love to use really good, rare or novel ingredients. At this very moment, I have a 12 ounce, $ 5 bag of dried pasta in my pantry. Five dollars I paid for artisanal pasta for my children, who will eat any starch I throw at them. They don't care that it was made with three different organic vegetable juices or sun-dried. That's all me.
My second big failing in the store is the frozen section. I melt for convenience foods, and little "nibblies" that would be so tasty with the glass of wine I always seem to be craving by the end of my shopping trip. Did I mention I have a tiny freezer? I'm sure you're seeing this second issue becoming worse and worse with every sentence.
My final, and worst, problem with the grocery store actually follows me around everywhere - in my wallet. I use my debit card for groceries. I've even been known to use a (gasp!) credit card, although thankfully that's been a rare event for me. I can clearly remember my mother paying cash for groceries and thinking, "C'mon Mum, get with it - no one uses cash anymore. Duh." Now that I'm a mum myself and not an insolent teenager I'm thinking, "Wow! Mum and Dad have REAL money!"

There are tons of tips out there for saving money at the grocery store. As I mentioned in the beginning, I can't play the system right and make them all work for me. You'll have to try a few to find what works for you with your budget and location. However, if there's one tip I've found that's worked pretty much everywhere we've lived, regardless of the size of our family and income, it's to stick to the outside of the store. No, I don't mean don't buy food, although that would certainly fix the whole food budget problem for the few weeks you slowly starved to death. What I mean is only buy things that are sold on the outside perimeter of the store. That's your produce, deli, meat, dairy and bakery. You may have to venture down the first isle for grains, but that's about it. If you stick to these sections of the store, you'll be avoiding all the more costly convenience items, the pretty packaging, and the fancy stuff like $ 5 pasta. You'll also be eating very healthfully, too. The outside of the store is where the REAL food is. Try eating the real food, and you could end up with real money too.

Eat That Frog!

Not a real frog, of course, unless you're in Louisiana. The expression refers to tackling your ugliest, most slippery task first. Personally, I think frogs are cute, but even if you agree with me on that count, you have to admit that popping a live one in your mouth wouldn't please too many palates. Even Bear Grylls would rather nosh on something nicer. Hence the comparison between your most dreaded task of the day and eating a frog. If you start each day by eating your biggest frog, you'll find you'll be rewarded in several ways. First, you'll get it over and done with early in your day, so you won't spend the day worrying about it. You'll also be more likely to finish it, so you won't be stuck gnawing on that same frog all night and all the next day. Tackling your biggest task first will get your momentum going, too. All the following tasks will be smaller and simpler by comparison. Of course, you'll also start your day with a sense of accomplishment. You might remember that feeling from your time B.C (before children). The daily grind of motherhood leaves that emotion to milestones, few and far between. Eating your big frogs first can give you that much deserved boost of pride and satisfaction in your daily life.
I invite you to try this simple scheduling trick for just two weeks and see if you notice a difference in your days. It's just a matter of choosing which of your tasks is your "frog" and making it your A1 priority for the day. You don't have to add a thing to your hectic schedule, and I think you'll find you actually get more done and feel better about it at the end of the day. So go on - eat that frog!

Quick Tip for Disinfecting

Whether you're spring cleaning or making an extra effort to keep the flu at bay, one of the biggest headaches for moms is trying to clean all those toys. There's a mountain of them in most homes with kids, and they're covered with germs. If you have a baby or toddler, half those toys have been in their mouths, and of course little kids are the ones most at risk for catching infectious diseases like the flu. You've bleached everything you can, set the dishwasher and laundry to the "sanitize" cycle, and steam cleaned every hard surface in the house. Now what?

Last year, thanks to a Black Widow spider who shared both her venom and the staph virus with me ($#$#@! spider!), we had to seriously disinfect our home - toys and all. I finally found a way to make sure I hadn't missed anything. It's called a Safe Space Disinfectant Room Fogger, and it kills all the bad "bugs" you want dead. After you clean, you just turn it on and it fills the room (read: all the nooks and crannies) with disinfectant. It's used in hospitals, schools, and other public spaces, and for me, at least, it provided peace of mind. For more information on the fogger, see the attached link. For detailed instructions on how to disinfect your home step-by-step, see the How To article on the right.

A few hours of spring cleaning can save you and your family days or weeks of illness, missed work or school, and medical bills. With the tools and products on the market today you can tackle this worthwhile chore in no time.

http://www.safespaceco.com/

Stop Multitasking!

What? This woman is off her rocker. I can't get it all done now, so how the heck am I going to get anything at all done if I don't multitask?

Relax. I'm only suggesting you stop multitasking for a few minutes. Then you can go right back to doing a bunch of different things at once, I promise.

The problem is that we all have so many responsibilities and commitments to tackle. Without a clear view of the big picture and a good game plan, we spend our days burning all our time and energy on the wrong things, and in the end, we lose. Have you ever set aside a whole day to "finally clean up this mess", only to find yourself farther behind than ever the next morning? How many books have you started this year? How many have you actually finished? And how many years in a row have your New Year's Resolutions looked pretty much the same because you never have the time to take on the big goals?

In college we were all looking forward to making it to 27 so we could simply outlive Jim, Jimi and Janis. Now, though, with 27 long behind me, I really need a greater sense of purpose and accomplishment in my life to feel fulfilled. The transition into parenthood can be particularly hard on people who found a great deal of personal satisfaction in their work, and now find themselves home alone with someone who doesn't even sit up, let alone converse. I've personally been a SAHM, WAHM, and working mom myself at different times, so I know each situation affects the other aspects of my life in unique ways. How does it affect you? Why did you choose the life you're living at present? Do you enjoy your work, in or out of the home? How do you feel at the end of the day? How does your family feel?

Admittedly, those are some daunting introspective questions, probably not easily or honestly answered in just a few minutes. Baby steps, baby steps... Try sitting down somewhere quiet with your resolutions and your planner for just a few minutes. Turn off the phone, shut the door, stay up just fifteen extra minutes and compare your aspirations to actual days. If you don't have a planner or haven't written down your goals, just jot down two lists on a blank piece of paper: Someday, and Today. Now pick one thing, just one, from your goal/someday list that you really truly want to accomplish and could actually do so in a few months if you could find the time. What about that photography class you want to take? Or that IRA you've been meaning to set up for years? Now trade one thing on your daily/today list with that one thing from your goal/someday list. You've just made something important to you part of your real life.

You may also notice that there are a few other things you do every day that aren't really necessary, like taking out the trash every single day. Is it really full every single day? Probably not, especially if you recycle. How many hours a day do you spend online or watching tv? Both are enjoyable luxuries (especially now that you've found my blog), but treat yourself to only the best that each has to offer and limit your "mindless" time. Cross off one or two things for good and you've just bought yourself some breathing room each week.

There. In fifteen, maybe thirty minutes you just reorganized your priorities, eliminated several things that were wasting your precious time and started working toward meaningful personal goals. Who knew you were so powerful? I did. After all, you're a mom.

Welcome!

Thank you for coming to my blog on organizing and managing your home, family, work and life. As I sat down to write this evening, I was interrupted by my 2 year old, then my dog, then a help call for my volunteer work. My husband is working until midnight tonight, so I didn’t have dinner on the table at 6 and there’s still laundry in the machines. So why, you’re now wondering, would I take organizational advice from this woman?

Here’s why: I know what I’m talking about. After years of trial and error, I've finally learned how to balance my life, enjoy the present, and keep stress to a minimum. I'm healthier and happier than I've been since I was a kid. That's what I want to share with you.

You see, organizing your life isn’t about hooks for each child’s backpack being installed at the proper height and location (although that is a neat trick). It’s not about having a shelf-scape in your bathroom of 24 matching glass jars with pretty “necessities” displayed therein. Too many books and articles focus on these picture-perfect ideals, but few of us live lifestyles that support that kind of organization. Organizational management for moms is about keeping your home, work and family balanced and happy. I don’t know of any mom who would shelf-scape her bathroom, but knowing where to find the Mr. Bubble at 7 pm on a Tuesday is vital information.

If you’ve read over my profile, you’ve seen my experience comes from a variety of sources. Sure, I’ll write about useful home organization from time to time, but I’ll also address time management, balancing work and home, single parenting, keeping on top of all the paperwork it takes to run a home, managing personal finances, and even organizing your mind. I sincerely hope you’ll find my writing valuable to you and your family.

Namaste’